I know most parents have those stories that make jaws drop and are often followed by things like, "How is your child still alive?"
Sure, they are not something we should take pride in... But they are fun to read, right?
My daughter has a bad habit of interrupting. No matter how many times I correct her, I can't seem to get her to understand that when two people are talking, it's rude to interject things such as:
"Mama, see this?" as she's sticking her tongue out doing a funny dance.
"Mama, mama, mama, mama... MAMA! Can I have this?" as she holds something she knows very well she can never have.
"Mama, I have a question. Mama, I have a question. Mama, I have a question. Mama, I have a question."
*brain exploding*
This is necessary to preface my son's life-threatening experience because it wouldn't have been cut (pun intended) so close if I wasn't ignoring my daughter trying to insert herself into my conversation with her grandma.
Another necessary preface is my son's constant desire to be climbing. I know this is common among young children, and I'm now convinced it's accentuated in young boys. My son has no respect for items which are not meant to be conquered and stood on. We have had to start keeping our chairs all tightly pushed in to avoid an 18-month-old centerpiece on our dining room table. Unfortunately, I don't always push my chair in when I get up to ... I don't know, get a napkin or something. Like most moms, I get up 100x per meal, so you can imagine the annoyance.
Cue lunch time. Naturally, the kids are done before the adults have even started so as Grandma and I filter about the kitchen cleaning up or getting our own food, the small ones are left "unattended" (less than 10 feet away.)
My daughter is incessantly trying to get my attention (a normal thing when I speak to another adult) and I was ignoring her to prove my point that badgering me will not get my attention when I'm speaking to someone.
Finally, she yells, "JOSIAH HAS A KNIFE!"
Grandma and I leap the short distance to the dining room to see a grinning jack-o-lantern with a good-sized knife he is repeatedly stabbing the table with.
I mean, thank God, he wasn't stabbing himself! There is perhaps nothing more terrifying than an unpredictable toddler wielding a weapon.
Lest you think I haven't learned my lesson, we have become much more vigilant about pushing our chairs in when said child is not secured in his highchair. Oh, and also, we leave less knives on the table.
But the real story here is I actually said the words, "Thank you for interrupting me, Sweetie."
