When Your Husband Doesn't Celebrate Valentine's Day

I imagine people who read the title of this post do one of two things: gasp in horror or nod in solidarity.

I'll address the crowd with mouths agape first:

It may seem cold-hearted, and you're right to be incredulous. But allow me to explain that my husband is an everyday kind of valentine. There are valentines out there who use the day as an opportunity to make amends for past neglect, smooth over an argument with something sparkly, or justify a few more late nights at the office with flowers and chocolate. That's not how my valentine rolls. He may not bring something home on Valentine's Day (which isn't to say he never has) but that random Tuesday in November he brought me dark chocolate covered caramels and flowers - I remember that.

To my fellow sisters nodding in recognition:

I hope your valentine showers you with love throughout the year and isn't just a love scrooge. That'd really be a bummer. If he is a love scrooge, you might consider some not-so-gentle hinting that you could use a little extra attention.

If he dotes on you on the reg, and like my husband, just doesn't like to be told by Hallmark to shower you with flowers and candy, then I say we're in a winning camp. I'd much prefer someone who does random acts of love kindness year-round, tucks random notes in my nightstand, and regularly offers support and affirmation.

To those who say, "My husband does both!" ... great! Some guys are romantics at heart. I tried to explain that to my husband yesterday. (I'm behind the whole "not indulging in the marketing of a holiday that's not real," but once you start straight bashing it I get to wonder, And what would be so bad about doing something a little extra special?!  I digress.) I tried to explain that some men love gift-giving and some women love getting gifts, and Valentine's Day is perfect for those couples.

So instead of a fancy date, flowers or candy yesterday, I crawled into bed at 8:30 p.m. and retook the love languages test in 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The last time I took it was probably five years ago, pre-children and early marriage. Want to know what I learned?

My physical touch score plummeted on account of I'm touched and hung on all day.
My acts of services skyrocketed... 'cause please do the dishes.
And I still like hanging out with my husband in that quality time category. It's just now tied with "clean the kitchen first."

Happy belated Valentine's Day!