Walruses and Motherhood

Have you ever seen Blue Planet? Or Planet Earth? Every time we watch them I'm amazed at our world. I marvel at the blue of the ocean (likely highlighted by HD, but nonetheless) and the intricacies of animal life - not to mention the vicious animal attacks that make their way on screen and always seem to shade my rose colored glasses.

We put Blue Planet II on the other day and the kids were oo-ing and ahh-ing over all the cool stuff they saw. My daughter never stopped asking questions long enough for us to hear any answers to them.

"What's that, Daddy? Is that alive? Why is that? Why is that there? Are they friends? Do they live there?" Etc. etc. etc.

In one scene there was a herd, or "huddle", if you will, of walruses. They were fighting for space on floating pieces of ice to protect their young. David Attenborough's voice slowed as he highlighted the lone walrus looking for a place to join her fellow walruses (walri? No, that's not right - walruses.) She couldn't find a place to go. She tried to get up, but no one would move over! They watched her floating around searching for a place to go to protect her cold little babe, and they did not move.

Of course, in perfect emotional timing, they pan to a view from under the water where you can see the baby walrus clinging to its mother. So, what does she do? She fights. She starts using her giant tusks to try and force her way onto a patch of ice. A fight ensues and there's a mess of walruses all fighting, falling, and flailing in the name of protecting their young. In the end, everybody loses and they're floating in the freezing water, together, but alone.

I couldn't stop thinking about what motherhood can feel like. That one mom who doesn't fit, feels alone, exiled, and like she doesn't have anywhere to go. Certainly no one seems to be making room for her. Instead, they just watch to see what she'll do. Under scrutiny she becomes defensive and takes up her torch to pave her own way.

Motherhood should never have to be that.

I hope the analogy is clear. When another mother is in need, it behooves all of us to do more than just watch her struggle. You may not be doing it in judgment, it may be completely passive, but to her it feels the same. So whenever possible, move over.

One day you will be the mom who needs a friend, an encouraging word, a hug, a home-cooked meal, a babysitter, a cup of coffee, or a play date. Heck, I'm that mom like every day. And for some reason when I was watching these mother walruses battle it out, all I could think was, just share the ice! We all need a place to help our babies thrive, just share the ice! 

So to all of my mother friends out there: I hope you're not offended that I'm comparing us to walruses. I promise it has nothing to do with our child-bearing hips. But I would totally share my ice with you.