Why We (Might) Never Get a Pet

Pets are awesome. I grew up with them, my husband grew up with them, all of our parents are animal lovers and my kids are pretty obsessed with the neighbors two dogs. When we ask my daughter if she wants a cat, a dog, or a pony (cause those are all equivalent, right?) she usually says something along the line of two cats, two dogs, and three-four-five-six ponies.

But I have adopted a very different view of pets in adulthood, and furthermore in parenthood. And I have my reasons for considering a forever "pass" on pets.

1. Pets are a crazy amount of money, time, and responsibility. It seems that for whatever reason that humans are now developing (or further recognizing) allergies, food-related illness, etc. is the same for pets. I find often in conversations about pets that people mention their diabetic-four-pills-a-day dog or their specialty diet for their overweight cat. Not to mention the horror stories of wrangling them up to administer the $500 medication (usually a conversation started by, "Oh my! Where did you get that scar across your face? That wasn't there yesterday!")

Adding up food, shelter, vet bills, medications, and the like, I can think of a million other ways to spend my life savings.

2. My neighbors, parents, and friends have them. 
Why take on all of the items above when my daughter can sprint out the door and play with the neighbors friendly puppies, safely protected by the fence between them?

All of the grandparents have cats, dogs, or both.

Surprisingly, upon further reflection, not a lot of my friends have pets. It became not-so-surprising when I realized that many of them also have young children and have come to the same conclusion of my third reason.

3. Sleep 
I don't need another potential wake up call. Sleep is sacred. SACRED. I put a lot of work into children who sleep through the night, and I depend on them doing so. The last thing I need is a 3 a.m. puppy potty break!

4. No doggy duty or cat litter here. 
I wipe a lot of butts, but I draw the line at regularly picking up poop.

5. More cleaning. 
Pets make things dirty. Whether it wet paws, a hair ball, or normal shedding, it adds to the never-ending need to clean my floors.

6. I get grossed out by pet problems. 
I gag at the thought of ticks, worms, and other skin-like issues associated with pets.

7. I'm mildly allergic.

8. I really like my running shoes. 
Let's face it, those would be the best chew toys.

Eight is a weird and unintentional number, but I'll stop there nonetheless. I would also like to point out that most of these can also apply to children. Sure, I'm not mildly allergic, not ALL of my friends have them, and it's called diaper-duty instead - but all else applies. The thing is, procreating is not the same as having a pet. Pets are not people, loving and intelligent as some may be.

Lastly (9?), why do I need a dog when fetch is my son's favorite game right now? Do I feel slightly odd saying things like, "Great job! Go get it!" and "Bring it back!" and "Good boy!"? You betcha. Do I do it anyway? Most definitely. He rewards me with two-tooth smiles and I get to watch him practice his waddling.

If we end up with a pet, one of the following things has happened:
1. I was not consulted. 
2. I was unjustly coerced.
3. I had an unforeseen influx of time, money, and a need for company. 
4. I was (naively) convinced they will be cared for by all other family members, and they live outside. 

Never say never, right?